We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me onSkype, and now we'vehad two months of relationship through Viber. My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding."Lots of love and thanks, Your favorite daughter,LillyDad's reply ... also by textingMy Dear Lilly: Like Wow! Really? Cool!Whatever... , I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through Paypal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on Ebay.One day I had lunch with some old friends. Jim, a short, balding golfer type, about 85-years old, came along with them; all in all, it was a pleasant bunch.When the menus were presented, my friends and I ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim who said, "A large piece of home-made apple pie, heated please."I wasn't sure my ears heard him right, and the others were aghast, when Jim continued,. " Clare sat down gingerly on the edge of a straight-backed chairand looked up expectantly. Higgins paused, seeming at a loss as towhere to begin. Pickering packed his pipe and lit it."You see, Clare, up to now, most of my clientele have been of thefair sex..." Ahem," Pickering cleared his throat significantly."Well alright, ALL of my clientele have been of the fair sex. Theycome to me seeking to enhance their social station. They want someoneto teach them to behave as women of breeding and culture. They wishto learn the niceties of dress and deportment, poise, and of coursehow to speak in polite company. As a professor of linguistics, Iteach them how to speak with the appropriate accent, inflection andso forth, how to address and greet others, depending on theirrelative station, which topics to discuss and which to avoid, whatopinions they ought to have on the affairs of the day, and providethem with a stock of agreeable conversation. With the aid of myassociate Miss Deverel, whom you.
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