The conversation even though it was limited to aboutthe meals was very good for me to attempt to fit in the group as just oneof the girls. We finished our meals and I knew that I had a problem, Icould not wait until we were back at Mary's apartment to use therestroom, I need to go now. I told Susan that I had a problem and shesaid, "Jammie and I are going to the lady's room, do either of you girlswant to come?" I thought there was no pausing, I remembered that Ialways stayed behind when they would go as a group to the lady's room.They all said "yes", except jane she said, "She would stay at the table,so the waitress would not think we were trying to skip out on the bill."On our way to the lady's room with the rest of the girls and being thenewest member to the group I said, "It's nice not to be the one left atthe table, I always felt left out."Mary opened the door to the lady's room and I had my first access to theroom that I thought I would never use as part of a group. I had. I don't feel anythingmore than panic at my mistake of being slaved. For my insanity, imprudence,and stupidity, my strong, clever, beautiful, elegant and generous Mistress,has Her full time submissive maid. Demanding She is of my behaviour and my work.Making sure i look good wearing my uniforms, making sure I take care of my cleanness,walking, make up, figure, humbleness, duties and total submission in my serviceto Her, Her friends and Her caprices. i must forget my past, it is tolate for my regrets, but i am always so frightened and miserable that i am onlythinking on how to get a little of my Mistress mercy and good will, i know thatthere is no remedy for me, other than to obey, stay attentive at Her serviceand try, with my abilities to misery beggar her doggedly with thesubmissiveness of my acts, to win a bit of Her benevolence and forgiveness forany wrong importunely i can do. She is the owner who rightfully owns my body,mind and soul, She has the measure for what i merit, need,.
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