I prefer skirts to pants.I like my makeup face more than my bare face.I prefer kissing men to women.And I like dick better than push.Everything became so naturally so.I don't project myself on the girl in that painting.Because I'm already a woman.A woman with the body of a 40-year-old man.If I were to undergo a transsexual operation now, I would look like this.It's all gone now.My fantasy?It's actually nothing.I'm sorry to let you down.I once wanted to be a porn star.I wanted to be a lover of all the men in the world.I once imagined men with big heavy dick in their hands lined up to have sex with me.I imagined washing my naked body with semen from men.I even imagined wandering the streets in high heels with a naked body without a single thread.All that imagination had excited me.Surely my fantasy was perverted and hardcore.But there was a separate fantasy that made me the happiest.To be a man's wife..The imagination of me being a man's wife had made me the happiest.Now I think I have. I probably willagain, I told myself and tried to laugh it off. Poor Mrs. Komori. If Imake it home, I promise not to puke!Things happened fast.The restaurant had filled, the sidewalk outside--under a purpling sky,streetlights coming on-- was thronged with costumed weirdos and we werejust minutes before start time. We packed into a booth, too many of usfor the confined space, bodies jammed together, laughing and actingstupid, but I couldn't help noticing how the garish neon light inside ElBanditos at night just made Gina's freckled skin very alluring, the wayit softly glowed kind of aqua blending into orange. Michelle and I weremashed up against the wall and Bill sat on my other side and took everyopportunity to touch my leg with his own nasty, bloopy, probably covered-in-pimples thigh. He flipped my braids from time to time, too, trying toannoy me. Fat pervert. Cream Corn Superstar's new guitarist was thistall, thin, very young guy with curly black hair and dark eyes and kindof.
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