"He called it an expensive mistake," I said, grinning."And that's only half of it. Are you going to give your girlfriend another chance?" I don't know if I can. She claims it was just a mistake, but you'd think she would complain about me treating her shabbily. She doesn't." How did you treat her shabbily?"I turned her way and laughed. Maybe it was the two drinks I'd had, but she wasn't bad looking at all. Her hair was short, bleached, parted on the left side, and hugged her round face. Her full lips looked kissable. She was tanned, probably all over. Her breasts were small, and her legs were definitely muscular. I wondered if she played tennis. I pictured her in a bikini."Kelley wanted me to propose by sending eleven roses to her house. When they arrived, she was to wait for me in the pool. I was to strip my clothes off, and stand on the diving board with the twelfth rose between my lips. After she told me that she'd cheated, I sent eleven roses to her house, and never showed. The first three months, while I was in Thailand, were pretty bad. I was in pain most of the time. You know what it’s like to get kicked in the balls. Imagine what it’s like to get your penis shoved inside out. I did a lot of lying out by the pool, but I didn’t swim. The last time I went swimming was the day I told you last May. I bled a lot during recovery and then I had to dilate my new vagina three times a day with a perspex rod to keep it from closing up. I still do that a couple of times a day. Not a very pretty image, is it? It’s functional and eventually, I’ll probably want to try it out with something other than my girlfriends’ fingers. What I’m saying is that I love you, Jacob. If there is ever a time when I want a boy’s penis in my vagina, it will be yours. You mean so much to me.”“I think you are the bravest person I know,” I said. I could feel V1’s tears welling up in my eyes. They were not so much tears for Beca as they were tears of regret for my attitude and actions in.
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