"I know. I love you too. But..." Mary?" Don't cry, dammit. I can't think when she cries."Do you honestly think you could love both of us?" Mary asked me.Good question. "Like 'be in love' with both of you?" Yeah. Candlelight dinners, dancing, long walks in the park..." Rubbing tummies during your period..." You know what I mean!" I suppose I did."I don't know," I said. I'd been thinking about it. "I don't know how it would work..." It would be hard." I can assure you, it would always be hard," I said with a smile."You!" So you want me to spend the next few days falling in love with your best friend?" Right." So the three of us can have a hard, long distance relationship that nobody will understand?" Right." And you're okay with this?" Right." Shit." Right." A tentative smile.I was quiet for minute, sipping coffee. "Okay. I'll see what happens. I really do like her... When are you going to tell her?" She already knows." I just shook my head. Where is the script?I took Mary to her place. We have to keep it secret from him and my bigbrother too. I don't want them ever to find out I like to dress upsometimes. After last weekend, I started being naked around the house,and both of them got used to that. I don't think they would to me wearingstuff." Oh, yeah," I said. I hadn't ever had many men I lived with, just thebosses at some of the foster homes, and they didn't like lots of things.Gina said, "I like doing boy stuff, like riding bikes in the woods andwrestling around and climbing on stuff that girls only get to dosometimes."I said, "Still it's better to be a tomboy than a sissy; you don't kidbeat-up as much. And if we were boys right now we couldn't even holdhands or hug. And boys fight and tease and girls don't." I think it would still be better to be a boy who can do girl stuff itthat were just possible. Some girls can be even meaner, you know, Jade.You'll find that out when you're older." Gina said. And I nodded becauseI remembered lots of girls like that at.
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