" I'm sorry, Mr. President, but rules are rules." Please, there must be something you can do. I need to cash this check so I can buy Michelle aValentine's Day present."The cashier thinks for a minute."I'll tell you what, Mr. President. Two weeks ago, Tiger Woods was here and in the same situation. He proved who he was by making an amazing putt all the way across the bank lobby into a coffee cup."Then, just last week, Andre Agassi had to prove who he was, so he used his tennis racket and lobbed a ball all the way across the bank lobby into that same coffee cup."In both cases, we took that as identification and cashed their checks," she explained."So, Mr. President, is there something you can do that would prove that you are, indeed, BarrackHussein Obama, president of the United States?" she asked.Obama stands in front of her for a moment, frowning in thought."You know, he says, I can't think of a thing.My mind is a total blank. I have absolutely no idea what to do in this situation,". “I’m not nude. I have this hat.” Totally smooth.Striking like a cobra, she swiped out and grabbed the hat from my hands, whipping it away and stepping back from me. I took half a step forward to grab it then stopped; moving any further would have exposed my ass which was at least mostly hidden by the side of the limo. I moved my hands down to cover my crotch.“Mary! Please! Give it back!” I hissed, craning my neck around to see if anyone was watching. At that moment, no one was. Except Phil who was ignoring everything like a true professional.Mary twirled the hat on her finger as she looked down at what it had been hiding. My hands were over my crotch for the most part but the cock cage was impossible to hide fully.“What the hell is that?!” she exclaimed, pointing at it.“Um, it’s, uh, a cock-cage,” I said as softly as I could. Phil coughed at that but said nothing. He wasn’t getting paid enough to intervene on this kind of crazy ass, freaky, white-people shit.“What’s it for?” she.
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