I assumed those days were over. One thingthat college did bring, for the first time in my life, was unfetteredaccess to high speed internet, and with it a whole new world opened. Notonly was I not the only crossdresser in the world, there were thousands,and hundreds of websites dedicated to them. So while I wasn't dressing,I was creating carefully thought out personas of sexy, submissivesissies, stealing photos from other websites, passing them off asmyself, and chatting late into the night with dominant males who wouldcall me their "sissy cumslut" or their "prancing little fag." Everyhumiliating name turned me on more and more. I learned to address themas "sir."Still, in reality I was a fairly masculine guy. Tall and broadshouldered, I could grow a fairly impressive beard in just over week andas I got older I found myself with more chest hair and back hair than Iever wanted. Every time I ended a night of chat sessions, I felt thesame emptiness and shame I'd felt earlier in life.My. For some reason, perhaps not unconnected with a secret visit to the doctor, there was no brother or sister for Nicola in the first few years. After that the few physical attractions Gwennie had had to offer were lost in a mountain of fat induced by regular large doses of fish and chips, or the Cardiff speciality, curry with half-and-half (half rice, half chips). Sex was a rare activity in the household and nobody really missed it; Gwennie because she was too fat to enjoy it, and Nathan because he found her obesity rather off-putting. As he remarked to a work-mate on one occasion, “I’d need a step ladder to get on top of her.”Nicola was twelve and had been getting glowing school reports for some time when Nathan was coming home from the pub drunk, and walked under a bus. “He stepped straight out without looking,” said an eye-witness, and there was Gwennie, thirty-one years old and widowed with a child still at school.Times became hard for the mother and daughter, and Gwennie lost.
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