. I don't care who it fucking is. I want touch...05/06/---CYou know Mom's starting to suspect I am not such a good little girl anymore. Took her long enough. It really kinda hurts me though as I connect what she's talked about as the bad effects of a small town with how I act together. I'm that girl who's willing to throw myself at a boy I only partly like and be unhappy when I get him. I go a step further than mom with her theory, the reason why I do this is because I crave physical touch. I want sex. I want it so badly I can hardly stand it. I can't do that though. I can't. 05/20/---CI am so proud of myself, instead of craving sex in general I have it down to one person.* I dream I make out with him every night. *[first name was footnoted at the bottom of the page in tiny writing]Birth date/---C Happy birthday, Lamb. Sure whatever. My period started yesterday...I felt so lonely in school today. I didn't tell everyone it was my birthday, but even when they did find out. Her lack of enthusiasm should have set off red lights and warning bells. Hell, her not being ecstatic about going out, in the middle of the week, to the best place in Austin? It should have set off flares and air raid sirensWe got to the restaurant, a restored southern mansion, early enough to see the peacocks strolling the grounds and were ushered to a romantic room with an impeccable table. I ordered their milk punch and Cathy ordered a margarita.I could feel her tension building all through dinner. I should have known something was wrong but I was too excited. I had decided to wait until dessert to spring my surprise but then her cell phone rang."We're at dinner... You're kidding! Here! Now?" No, not until this weekend..." she stopped in mid-sentence again and then giggled."No, I told you how I wanted to do it... I can't! Please, Mike, not here. " She sighed, listened for a little bit and then said, "Are you sure?... Just like we practiced?" She listened a bit more and I watched.
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