I even had the date of Dave Laurence’s accident planned, I figured for two weeks after our company’s autumn seminar that was always held in late August. Yeah, of course that’s still in the summer but it was the seminar where the company’s winter lines were rolled out to us mugs, who were supposed to sell them to the retailers. I figured that Sandra might not attend the seminar if her husband met with a tragic accident a couple of weeks before it. Anyway I thought everything went swimmingly. Sandra shared my bed every night, boy when I got that girl going, nothing seemed to stop her. She’d developed into a right kinky little bitch by then. That was until the Thursday evening when something went awry, Sandra usually arrived at my hotel room door about seven. Her husband would call her religiously at six thirty so they could have a chat before she theoretically went down for dinner. Of course in the last couple of years Sandra would come to my room after he’d called, for hors d’oeuvres,. AVN shows are the busiest time of year for the AVN staffers and getting a meal delivered was a welcome gesture. He opened the container. Inside was a generous serving of… Green eggs and ham, of course. An entire ampule of green food coloring rendered the food greener than the clover pasture fields of Ireland. On the inside of the lid, the words “I do not like them here or there, I do not like them anywhere” had been inscribed. But that was just the set up.Later, Thing One and Thing Two made a point to shake hands and make peace once and for all. The brothers stood on either side of Kulkis, shaking his hands, the photo would be used for a press release demonstrating that a peace accord had been reached. Somehow the photo went to Hustler, somehow it was doctored for an article, somehow the words “I’m with asshole” and “He’s gay” with corresponding arrows pointing at Kulkis found their way onto the blank black sweatshirts the brothers were wearing. Hustler gave a few pages of praise to.
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