" Asked mom in a voice of sincere interest."Well you were out with Rita playing bingo. I came in from working, showered and passing your room I saw the high heels you wear at times and I tried them. I was so glad they fit and I walked around the room and Mom it felt so nice." And then what?" asked mom."Well I wanted to wear more. So I went into your closet and grabbed a nice skirt with a wide black belt and a mauve blouse. Then to a drawer and got a slip;panties and stuffed a bra with socks. When I looked into a full length mirror I had the most amazing; baffling; exited feeling. Since then I would dress up when you went out to shop or bingo. I hope you are not upset about it." How could I be upset with a son who so likes the way I dress he dresses the same?" No I am not angry at all. I am interested as to why you like dressing as a woman thirty years older than you are, That is very different. I mean guys dress as women but the same age they are anyways." Well mom, I have always. Have you ever talked to anybody about it?’ ‘Yes,’ she said and nodded her head. ‘I talked to a therapist. It doesn’t change anything, Richie. It’s still there. Talk, talk, talk. It’s still there.’ She started crying again. ‘Jolene, it doesn’t have to be.’ ‘You don’t know what you’re saying. I can’t make it go away,’ she sobbed. ‘I see him in my dreams. I feel him over and over again. It won’t go away.’ I slid closer to her, and held her in my arms. ‘Jolene, look at me.’ She turned and looked up at me. Her tear streaked face broke my heart. In that moment, I realized what a mask her sensual, sexual side was. She hid a deep reservoir of pain underneath it. I also realized how fragile she really was, and how, so far, I’d taken advantage of those frailties. I felt like a real creep. ‘You can let it go. You must let it go, Jolene. It’s a poison inside you.’ I pulled up her head and looked her squarely in the face. ‘Jolene, you are smart and beautiful and your life can be anything you want.
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