I would’ve been too scared to wave if he would’ve seen it. And then they were gone. I never saw Pete again. Every few years, his parents came to visit mine, or my parents went to visit his, but he never came with his parents and I never went with mine. This incident probably didn’t help with my shyness. In fact, I’m pretty sure it just made me more nervous around boys. I had no sexual relations for the rest of high school. I didn’t even kiss another boy (though from what I heard from my friends, I learned that what Pete had did was not much of a French kiss). I learned about masturbation at the age of 14. The first few times I tried to masturbate, I just couldn’t get off. I’d get close to orgasm, and memories of Pete would come flooding back and scaring him away, and I just couldn’t get past that. I guess I should note that I never penetrated myself during masturbation, I only rubbed my clit and maybe just the inside of my vagina, as I was scared to break my hymen (now that I knew. Mami ke chehre par ab ghabarahat thi.Main: mami kya aap bhi waha ke thi, mujhe aap jinke jaise saree me ek aurat dikhai di.Mami: nahi toh…Main: has shayad mujhe aisa laga hoga. Mami me apko meri garden waki photos dikhata hoo.Ab main mami ko garden k photos dikhane laga. Tabhi mami aur us ladke ki garden wali photo open ho gayi.Main: mami, are ye toh aap hi ke jaisi dekhati hai, kahi woh aap ki behen toh nahi hai naa.Mami ke chehre ka rang ud gaya tha.Main: suresh naam hai na iska.Mami: mujhe kya maloom?Main: haa sahi hai, shayad mama ko pata hoga, abhi aane ke baad puch leta hoo.Mami: please unhe kuch mat batana.Main: toh mujhe sab bata do.Mami rone lagi.Mami: ye mera boyfriend tha.Main: lagta hai mama ko sab batane ka time aa gaya hai.Tabhi door bell baji. Main meri room me chala gaya. Shaam ko khana khare samay, mami tensed thi. Hum sab dining table pe baithe the. Mami mere aur mama ke beech baithi thi.Main: mama me apko kuch batana chahta hoo.Ye sunkar mami mujhe ishara karne.
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