I was standing on my feet in the bleachers screaming my head off."Go, go, go! Way to go, Bri! Way to take that extra base! Scoring position, baby!"I sat down and recognized Brian's parents staring at me."Hi," I said, holding out my hand. "I'm Carly Peters. My husband Jake is the coach and my son Michael is the pitcher. All the boys are really excited to see Brian doing so well."His mother smiled."He's like a whole new kid this year," she said. "Your husband is doing a fantastic job with him." He does love the game," I agreed, not needing to hide my smile.It was probably fortunate for any future relationship I was going to have with Mr. and Mrs. Nutter that Alex Poke grounded out to the pitcher for the third out. That evening, we let Michael go off to the movies with some of his friends. It was the least that we could do to help with the pain of their first loss.Jake seemed a little subdued during dinner. After straightening up the kitchen, I found him sitting in the family room. . yeah!" I shouted back, trying to sound nonchalant."Okay. Supper's almost ready."I frowned at myself in the mirror and watched my face turn almostpurple. I put one of my little fingers under my nose to simulate amustache but gave up. I sat on the floor with my chin on my knees,hugging my legs, just trying not to think of anything. An empty brainis a happy one, I told myself. But I found trying not to think onlyincreased the likelihood of thought, so I gave up, got to my feet andwent to supper.While I could tell myself I was still a guy, I was powerless to stop mymost important relationship from changing. Emily looked at me now in asort of maternal way. Or sisterly. Whichever, I hated it. We talked alot, though. Every time I tried to bring up our immediate past, though,she'd go off on some painting she was working on, or a band Darla wantedher to see. I felt miserable. Those longings were still there, only myphysical equipment would or could scarcely acknowledge them..
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