”“Oh, Fred, please don’t.”“Oh, Fred, please!”“Oh, Fred.”“Ohh!”The local gentry were gathered in The Crown, the local pub. Each boasted of how well he had set up his sons. Finally, the landlord broke in. “I have to admit that you all have done well by your heirs,” he said, “but I have made my son heir to The Crown,.”In WWII, a destroyer was torpedoed, and 19 of the crew managed to get to a lifeboat. One of them had an unopened package of cigarettes, but nobody had a dry match. They finally figured out how each of them could have a smoke. they opened the pack and threw one cigarette over the side. That made the lifeboat a cigarette lighter.School was having show & tell. Johnny came up to the blackboard, picked up the chalk, and drew two dots. He put the chalk down in the tray. He turned to face the class, but he didn’t say anything for a minute.Teacher: “Johnny, what are you telling us?”Johnny: “You told us that these are periods, didn’t you?”Teacher: “Yes.”Johnny: “Well, my big sister,. Dark well kept hair, piercing green eyes, much taller than my small 5 foot 6, you being at least 6. You were only in a check shirt and jeans. You looked older than I, in your late twenties and me only being 19. You pounced. You pushed me into the ground headfirst. My hands reached out, breaking my fall, I grunted on impacted and hissed as I grazed my palms on the hard soil underneath me. I tried to get up but your foot was on my back keeping me on the cold dirty path, ruining my dress. Your hands tied mine together with rope, which you had. You picked me up, lifting me as if I was nothing and made me stand in front of you. Please sir, what do you want? I begged softly, why? I watched as you tied my hands to the branch above me, but too high as I was on my tiptoes. So beautiful you whispered as your hand caressed my cheek and wiped the tears from it and all mine. Your hands ripped my dress from my body leaving me only in white lace bra and matching panties. Looking so innocent.
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