She shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Now, climb on Ms. Porsche and I'll get you out of those clothes." (Like I haven't heard that one before!) Mounting behind him, we cantered down a long hallway full of the stench of rotting flesh, singed hair, and horse dung which made me suspect a Hardees was nearby. "How long will I be in this hell hole?" I enquired of the genitalia-challenged horseman."Why my dear slut you are here for all eternity... Unless..." Unless what? Don't leave me hanging like a flaccid ten-inch cock. Oh, don't take that personally." He seemed unaware of my social faux pas to my immense relief. "If you best Satan in a mutually-agreed-upon challenge. If you do he must release your soul. It's called the 'Charlie Daniels v. Georgia Rule." Like chess maybe?"Hell's minion answered quickly. "Fuck no! Anything but chess! Mr. Big hates Bergman movies. He says they are too cheerful. He requires something intellectually challenging."☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆"Okay, Tic-tac-toe it. I agree to conform to the following behavioral specifications:I will not sit, lie on or use the furniture without the expressed permission of the MASTER.I will not go to the bathroom without permission from my MASTER. (He must not delay more than 1 hour of asking)I will keep myself scrupulously clean at all times. (Half an hour of personal hygiene every 6 hours)I will not get into or out of bed without my MASTER’s permission.I will not eat or drink without the permission of my MASTER. (He must permit within half an hour of asking)I shall never embarrass my MASTER in any way.I will not engage in malicious gossip or use insulting or demeaning language towards others.My manner and tone will be that of a slave at all times and will reflect deference to my MASTER at all times. (During hours of roleplay)I will not act defensively when questioned by my MASTER.I will never interrupt my MASTER, or others when speaking.I will not engage in sex, intimate touching, or engage in any scene without.
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