In my sleepy haze, the light from my phone screen was so bright it actually hurt. I peered at my phone with one eye. “Shit,” I said.It wasn’t a sleep alarm; it was an event alarm. My dad’s birthday was today. Normally that would make me excited because my family has always taken birthdays very seriously and we go out of our way to have a great time. The only problem was, I forgot to get him a present. In almost twenty years I had never forgotten to give him a present. My mom either, when she was still around. To make matters worse, we had a no commercial gift policy. It was originally my mom’s idea, but it’s become sort of a tradition in our family.Instead of going out and buying something they could get for themselves, we always try to give a gift that cannot be bought. There is some flexibility as to what counts as ‘bought’. For example, one of the first gifts I remember giving my dad was a macaroni necklace. I know that’s not very original, but I was five, cut me some slack. So. ‘First, I am going to cook you breakfast and serve it to you in bed. Lay here while I run you a bath and you can relax while breakfast is cooking.’ ‘OK,’ I agreed while trying to reach at your towel. ‘I think that will be sexy. But, can you give me a little dick right now?’ I gave you the little girl pout. That always works. You leaned down to kiss my pouty lips. ‘Baby, it ain’t working. But damn good try.’ With one last suck of my bottom lip, you headed to the bathroom to run my water. Before I can really give into being mad that you wouldn’t put out, the bedroom door bursts open. I just had time to grab the comforter and cover up before the children accosted me. ‘Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!’ they screamed as they jumped all over me, covering my head with kisses. I reared back in fake fear laughing. I could hear you turning on the water in the bathroom as I shooed them off the bed. ‘Give me a minute to put my robe on, and I will come out and cook breakfast for you guys.’ With one.
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