Perhaps it was because she really seemed to care. She really wanted to know and she wasn’t judging me. She was just listening. ‘You’re a woman, what could I have done to make her stop loving me?’ ‘I don’t know … maybe nothing. Your friends don’t think she had a good reason. They said you were the perfect husband. Were you?’ ‘I wanted to be. I tried to be there for her … to give her my time and my love and the things that would make her happy. I didn’t forget her birthday or our anniversary. Maybe I don’t understand. Maybe I didn’t do everything I could have … but I don’t know what I did or didn’t do that would make her unhappy.’ ‘That’s what makes it worse … when you don’t know why.’ she said almost absently. There was a pause for a few moments and then she turned to me again. ‘Would it be different if she had died in a car accident or some other tragic event?’ I thought about it for a minute. ‘Yes. It wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t see her again and I wouldn’t have been able to. Because you can see this comingand you know you're going to need to deal with it but you're not surehow. There's too many variables! If this happens then should I do this?If I do that then this could happen, then what would I do? Well maybe dothis? No, because then that would happen.Then you're finally in the middle of that challenge stuck and at a losson what to do probably because you?ve already considered and rejected thesolution you would have had immediately had the challenge been asurprise.So it's sort of ironic, I guess. Maybe not ironic-ironic but ironic inan Alanis Morrissett kind of way. It seems like irony but it's just astupid coincidence. Still a good song, though.See, my whole life has pretty much has been filled with those loomingchallenges so I?ve pretty much been from one stressed out situation tothe next; that is up until about 10 years ago when I met my husband andsomehow he was able to make all of those challenges vanish; he wasprobably the first sane thing.
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