Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t. “You truly are the village idiot,” he agreed, “Any more offers for the whore’s hand in marriage,” he asked. There was compete silence. “Then you are betrothed,” he announced “Congratulations.”“I’m not marrying the Village idiot!” the girl snapped“No and I shan’t marry thee neither,” I insisted, “Not without a dowry.”“What do you need a dowry for, she can earn a fortune laid on her back?” he challenged, “Oh very well, how about a free house and a hundred quid a year?"“Make it two and you have a deal!” I suggested.“Don’t push it, one fifty,” he suggested.“Done!” I agreed.“So take her away and fuck her in any and every hole sir,” the father said.“Reckon I’ll pass,” I said, you might as well stay here and enjoy yourself.” I promised, “Er what’s her name?” I afdded.“Katherine, does it matter,” he replied, “Just make sure she does her debauched fornication here and not near my house!"It was next morning I next found Katherine or rather she found me at my parents house.She was barefoot and.
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