Until it doesn’t matter at all. Until it wouldn’t matter even if he really did hurt you. Until you’re ready to beg him to hurt you, if that’s what it takes.’ She moved her fingers from Luke’s mouth back to his cheek, felt the fine, barely-there whiskers, then dropped her hand to his chest. His heartbeat felt thick and heavy against her palm, rapid but not erratic. His upset was easing. ‘That’s the worst part,’ she continued, whispering, staring at her hand where it rested on Luke’s chest, ‘that he makes you ask for it. He makes it your choice, makes it so what you fear most and what you need most are the same thing. And he makes you feel angry…angry and weak.’ She looked up then, smiling slightly, and finished it: ‘At the same time, though, it makes you feel strong, or at least stronger—to know there’s something inside you that’s stronger than fear, some alternative, something else to hang onto when you’re too scared breathe. So the terror isn’t automatic. So there’s another. Every apartment was virtually the same and each one had a balcony, some like mine on the ground floor had gardens. There was a communal swimming pool in the middle of the urbanisation.After the economic crash a lot of homes were vacated so neighbours changed quickly. We got a new couple moved in a block away which our apartment partially looked onto. They were both Spanish who spoke no English so tended to keep to themselves. The guy was good looking around 45 his wife was a real horney Spanish MILF around the same age.Early one hot summers morning I was returning home after walking the dog. I noticed the neighbours wife cleaning the balcony in a red bikini. WOW she was fit, fuck me I thought she was fit with her clothes on but she was 10x hotter with them off. Fuck, she caught me having a good look at her. Oh well, she was worth looking at, she just carried on regardless.As time when on she would always seem to be on the balcony cleaning or sunbathing alone as I returned from my.
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