" Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now."Brief pause."Uh, okay, then ... this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table. Run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's truck just pulled into the driveway." Okay, Daddy! Just a minute!"A few minutes later the little girl came back to the phone."I did it, Daddy." What happened, Honey?" Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on, and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the throw rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she isn't moving at all!" Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?" He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took the water out last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool, and I think he's dead.'"Long pause.Longer pause.Even longer pause.Then I said, "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5555?" No. I. As we left the men's store and I was getting in the back seat I saw threesalesmen standing at the window watching us leave. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It was about three miles to the girl's favorite mall. They were soexcited today. Julie reminded everyone that I had to get the pants andsilk blouse today.I reminded everyone that it was a shirt not a blouse, guys call themshirts, and girls call them blouses."As long as they button up on the right side don't worry about it Alvin,"Shelly said."What do you mean, button up on the right side? They button up in thefront," I said.They laughed at me."Alvin, they both button up in the front, but girls blouse's button upwith the buttons on the left side, and guy's button up with the buttonson the right side," Denise pointed out. "So if you find something thatyour mother has given you doesn't seem to button up the right way, nowyou know why."I learned some other hidden truth that girls had always kept hidden fromthe boys. I was.
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