" He swallowed, looked down at the therapist's shoes. He wished he had chosen a female therapist, it might be easier to admit it to a woman. "I imagine . . . I'm having sex." He almost said "getting fucked"."I see," He looked away from James a moment, then back at him as he said, "Who do you imagine having sex with?" Nobody, really. It's like just a man having sex with me. Not anybody I know." A man. I see." The therapist looked at his shoe. "Do you imagine it as a homosexual encounter?" No, actually I don't. That's what's weird. It's more like I'm a woman doing it with a man. I'm a woman, or feel a woman." And it seems strange? Imagining you're a woman?" Yeah. It's not a gay thing, how I think about it. Definitely not gay. Afterwards I hate myself for doing it and I promise I'll stop, never do it again." "You feel guilty." Not exactly," James said, "I think, why do I do it, it's just that it's . . . crazy, perverted. I say I'll stop. I won't do it any more. But then I get the urge. After shop we went to have some food he was sitting in front of her and appreciated her for her beautiful looks.It was a big thing for me to listen but aunt was smiling at that, i dont know why i was feeling jealous of that.My friend Vivek was now even getting close to me also, by n how he was my best friend now. He used to come to our house n trying spending most of the time chatting with my aunt n giving me less attention. Also he use to wear small shorts and had a well built n hairy thighs.my aunt always used to say that he looks like a man n used to praise her physique. There was a marrige ceremony of my aunts brother in chandigarh.Also there was marriage fixed of my elder sister so there were no chances of anyone expect me n my aunt to attend the ceremony. Even i was least interested of going to attend ceremony as there was no company for me, as it was quite obvious my aunt has to do so many arrangements there as being the only girl of the family. She asked me to invite Vivek. I.
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