”“She hurt me by trying to avoid hurting me.”“Exactly.”We reached her house and walked in. I put my stuff down and collapsed on the couch. Melanie went and got me a Coke and we sat there in silence for several minutes.Melanie had hit the nail on the head. Everything I did to try to avoid hurting someone had the potential for doing exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. How could I resolve this? Was life destined to be like this? Hurting people you love even if you didn’t mean to and perhaps even if you did nothing wrong?Now I understood the guys who treated girls like toys to be played with. They simply turned off their emotions or buried them. I was one of the few guys I knew who cried. I’d even cry in public and frankly, I didn’t care. I didn’t think it was ‘weak’ like some of them did. I got teased for it from the time I was little. I managed to get it more or less under control, but that was only on the surface.Melanie let me sit and think. She was sitting very close, her hand. Of course, the Kama Sutra project turned out to be pretty hard-core too, but initially I did not know that.In essence, the idea was that a man and a woman, both fairly young and sexually attractive, would model and act out every sex position in the Kama Sutra for a series of videos. Unlike ordinary photo shoots, this would not be merely still photos with the couple in the positions. This video set would cover each of the 64 sex positions from start to finish – or rather, from foreplay to afterglow. There would be only one couple involved, so they had to be versatile and hot lovers. I suppose that one could see this as just another hard-core porn video set, but something about it struck me as different, so I considered the proposal seriously. The director/producer Sam had seen my work in the regular porn videos and he quickly made up his mind that he wanted me to be his man for the Kama Sutra. Certainly I was flattered. Sam also was approaching the project as more than mere porn. In.
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