I don't know if I'm any better, but I'm goingto try and survive.*****Merry Christmas, Diary!It was actually a nice Christmas. John is just glowing with his new-found faith. I'm still struggling with mine, but I'm happy for him. Asfor my gender stuff, well I have a confession. I've been crossdressing,"borrowing" my mom's stuff. I don't know how to describe how I feeldressed, there are so many different things going on. There's the guilt,of course. That's to be expected. But there is this brief moment ofrelief, like I put down something super heavy I hadn't even realized Iwas carrying. I feel light, and free and ... So what do I do about that?*****Well, its the last day of the year, so I'll say goodbye, diary, untilnext year.Here's hoping its a better one.*****Happy new year, Diary!I decided I'm going to do more boy stuff, and get rid of my desire to bea girl that way. I've started letting my facial hair grow out, and I'[mgoing to sign up for Track when school comes back in. Maybe. I cheered him on my head...silently encouraging him to fuck you harder, to take what he wanted, to use you completely. You were just a plaything, a birthday present...my gift to him.From the sound of his grunting and the speed of his thrusts, from the tension in his back and his legs, I knew he was close. I could feel it from across the room. He pulled back, climbing off you to stand by the side of the bed. One hand snaked into your hair while the other furiously stroked his shaft. He pulled your head to his cock, stuffing it into your mouth. If you were surprised, you didn't show it. You took it like a good girl.He came hard...head back, moaning loudly. His hand tightened in your hair and his legs trembled. I watched his ass clenching as he drained his cock in steady pulses, watched the release spread through every muscle in his body. When he was finished, he pulled his cock from your lips, let go of your hair, and sat down hard on the bed. He lay back on his elbows with a distant,.
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