While we are all changing. Annais also. Anna used to be not as defined as she is now. She is more real,then again we are all more real as we grow as a person. Changing doesnot mean the facts are different. I will be fine if somehow myinactivity makes me lose Anna.I don't care if it isn't love between me and Anna. Anna doesn't reallytalked to me about it so I know it isn't love. It is just something inbetween love and like, a shade of grey? That is fine for when Anna isaround I feel alive and I know she feels the same way.When Anna get the courage and does talk to me and say it is love, themood gets somber. She brings up all the consequences if we become one.To me they are nothing, they are worthless concerns about nothing. I donot care what other people think, I want Anna and I to be one.Poor Anna does not have much confidence in herself. I find her sobeautiful but she is scared that I do not want to be seen out in publicwith her. It is from us never going out. It is not my choice. .. I'm sorry. Oh Jonelle... please forgive me for calling. I won't call again."She was about to hang up, her face flushed with shame, her pulse raging wildly, pain flaring in the pit of her stomach. If she had ever loved anyone, it was Rina, then Jonelle."Laura, don't hang up," Jonelle said quickly. "Please don't."Laura only now realized that her own cheeks were slick with tears. "I think I should," she said quietly."No... don't. Where are you." Oh... same hotel." She smiled wanly. "Remember that one?" I could never forget it," Jonelle said, very softly, seriously. "How long you going to be there?" Oh... leaving in the morning." What room?" Eight seventeen." If I'm not there in a half hour, I'll call you," Jonelle whispered, now clearly conspiratorial.Laura hung up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She tried not to think. Why shouldn't she get married? she thought. She's so beautiful. How could she keep the men away from her? And she isn't really a lesbian. She might want me.
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