Once in bed, I went right to sleep. When I woke, birds were singing, the air was crisp and I was keen to visit my old house. I must explain that after my dad had left the house, I’d heard the owner sold the property and some land, and the new owner had built a bird sanctuary in the grounds. The house sat in the middle of a wooded area with a beautiful stream in the back. The house was built of knotty pine and so the smell of the house was beautiful. Oh, how I hope it hasn’t changed. I have a lot of good memories of this house where I grew up, including the cold, long winters, riding our snowmobiles and weeks of no school because of the snow. But my fondest memory is much more personal… it’s the house where I lost my virginity. I had been going with Corky for four years. We were so much in love and thought we would be together for ever, and raise lots of children and have a dream life. Foolish kids we were. Corky was over six foot tall, so handsome, slender built with a baby face. ”Turning her head, she looked at me, her intense emerald eyes peeking out through mussed, rich mahogany hair. Damn she was gorgeous.Two months ago she’d started at U of T. She had a fall fashion show scheduled for late October in Italy. She was busy.I brushed her hair back. She smiled, so beautiful. “Marry me,” I asked again, now for the fifth time.“No.”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect.
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