. not ... Heather?"Diane nodded.Janet stared. The struggle in her head between realization and acceptance was all too apparent. "Wait ... Diane, you ... you're not saying that ... what you really mean is..." That I'm a lesbian, Mother," said Diane in a quavering voice.Diane fell against the counter, one hand rising to her forehead. "Oh dear." I'm sorry!" Diane cried. "I-I mean, I'm not sorry, not for being that way, just for not telling you before now."Janet had no idea what to say. She was not prepared. It would have been easier to hear that Diane was drinking or doing drugs, or cutting school, or even having sex clandestinely with a boy.It reminded her too much of what she wanted to forget: her encounter with the school principal. It had faded enough in her mind to be no more than a surreal dream. She could come close to convincing herself that it had never happened.The silence was killing Diane. Her eyes blurred with unshed tears. "Mother, p-please tell me you don't hate me."This. I put out all the lights as soon as it got dark and got my brother’s binoculars from the closet. I had inherited them from him when he got married because his wife hated anything that would remind him of his military days. Then I took up position in my favorite lounge chair just inside the window and started to monitor the units across the way. I started first with the units directly opposite of which there were four. Each pair shared an emergency escape landing and ladder that went all the way from the roof to the basement about five flights below. I had absolutely no idea which apartment corresponded to the windows facing me but it was of little consequence since I had no intention of establishing a relationship with any of the residents. I just identified them to myself as 4a, 4b, 4c, and 4d in order to keep the location fixed in my thinking. I did the same for the floor above using 5 as the common theme and the same for the floor below using 3 as the identifier. All twelve of the.
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