”“You had a very sad look on your face.”I didn’t look at her but said, “It’s just that I’ll be leaving in a couple of months.”“You’ll only be five hundred miles away.”“Right, ‘only’ five hundred miles,” I responded.“I can come and visit on special weekends and you’ll come home on holidays.”“Yeah, but ... but how are you going to get ... get along without me?” I asked, my eyes tearing and my voice cracking. A better question might have been; how was I going to get along without her?My mother didn’t answer. But she reached over and took my hand, holding it gently without saying a word. I was pretty sure she was feeling the same as me.“We’ll get along somehow,” she finally said without conviction. “Let’s take a walk down to the old barn before it gets dark.”The “old barn” was a remnant of a previous owner who worked the property as a horse farm for years until his death. His children parceled the land and sold it in five-acre plots. The old barn was on our property so we often went to. Both of you," and spin on my heels and walk back to my car a much lighter woman.As I back down the driveway, I steal a glance at his frozen face still in the doorway. She has appeared by his side - the woman who used to bear the name "Kimberly's best friend."I feel a new feeling towards them - indifference. And my mind floods with these new thoughts: Jake, my writing, my photography, all the possibilities open to me. It's almost like a poor-sighted person trying on glasses for the first time. My view has drastically changed. ~~~July 4th, 9:00 pmAs I walk up the hill, he slowly comes into view. My pace quickens with my heart rate. Looking around, it is the same hill we were on the other day, but the flowers are more prolific, the grass is greener, and the air is lighter. It's like I am seeing my surroundings for the first time.He hears my footsteps and turns to me and stands. Our eyes meet and we just stare at each other in silence. I know he is waiting for my words. "I am free to.
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