Ecology: If organic shit happens, it ‘s OK.Egalitarianism: Shit and no shit happen both.Egotism: I am the shit!Einsteinism 1: God does not play shit with the universe.Einsteinism 2: Shit is Relative.EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.Empiricism 1: Prove that shit!Empiricism 2: Shit only happens if I see it happen.Energizer Bunny: Shit happens and happens and happens and...Environmentalism 1: Shit is biodegradable.Environmentalism 2: Good shit only happens once; bad shit is recycled.Environmentalism 3: Humanity happens.Epicurism: Shit happens after a good meal.Episcopalian-ism 1: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.Episcopalian-ism 2: If shit happens, hold a procession with bells and smells (incense).Epicurian-ism: Shit happens, in moderation.Epistemology: How do you know that shit?Escapism: If shit happens, don’t look back.Eschatology: You think shit happens now, you just wait.EST-ism: If my shit bothers you, that’s your fault.Evangelism: Shit. “What’s wrong?” I asked.A tear ran down her cheek. I knew something was up.“Chuck is leaving me for his secretary!” she said, bursting into tears.My first instinct was to hug her, but I realized that was a supremely bad idea. She’d already suggested what I felt would be an inappropriate relationship, and now she was extremely vulnerable.“I’m sorry,” I said. “Have you talked to anyone about it?”“No,” she sobbed. “I don’t know what to do!”“I think you need to talk to a counselor and a lawyer,” I said. “I can give you a name of a lawyer, and I’m sure that Bethany can give you the name of a counselor.”She nodded and continued sobbing. I decided that she needed help right now, and that I could at least provide some. Carefully.“Walk back to my house with me,” I said. “I can give you Gwen Meyer’s number, and Bethany should be home from class about the time we get back.”She gathered her kids and put them in a tandem stroller. I put Jesse into his and we walked back to my house on Woodlawn..
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