This room is where I can be diverted by any number of subjects. I keep my work-space upstairs spartan to focus my mind and organize my thoughts while writing. Now, though, I ignore all the books and magazines. I want to go about my new life but last night and what I learned today from Marge fill my mind. I am filled with mixed feelings and filled is a good concept of it. I cannot settle, relax, empty my mind, which is my intention at this point in the evening. Even if my intention is to use the wine as a slight buzz to settle me for sleep or to explore my body with fingers or toys, to bring the feeling of euphoric pleasure, it is to leave behind the other things of the day. It isn’t going to be so easy tonight. I feel consumed, burdened by what I have learned.The switch at the door turns on only two floor lamps. It provides a soothing, subdued atmosphere for reading or getting lost in thought. A second switch turns on focused strip lighting for searching the shelves. I am standing at. I remembered it well. She had burnt the main course and then served lumpy custard with an apple pie that was almost too tart to eat. It was one of her little tricks. I knew what she was up to, deliberately doing something naughty just so I would punish her, and I sometimes indulged her. So, I had flogged her, possibly a little more harshly but I felt she deserved it. The fact that she couldn’t sit down properly afterwards is neither here nor there.“You deserved that, and you know it. So, what happened?”“I’d taken some of your special salve in to work with me. I knew you wouldn’t mind. Half way through the morning I went to the Ladies and put some on which helped a little. I was almost finished, just rubbing the last little bit in. I never heard the door open. First thing I knew was a “oh my god what happened to you?” It was Marie who sits at the next desk to me.”“She caught you with your panties down?” I said mockingly.“I pulled them up and pulled my skirt back down straight away,.
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