I just covered everything up. I tried to be as clever as the bastard. I moved my true self away from Eric to protect my betrayal. I stole myself from him, I robbed him of myself.Tell me, which is the greater betrayal, the fucking or the denial?But I am not good in the role of the bastard, am I? I guess I'd love to be, but I lack the talent and the guts. I can't live with it and go on. In the end I make quite a sorry bastard.So I collected all my courage to meet my twice-betrayed lover. I was scared. I needed so much for him to understand. Maybe not so much as to take me back, but enough to make him understand how sorry I am. For yes, I am sorry. Maybe for all the wrong reasons, but I do hate what I have done. To Eric, to myself and to the child inside me. Even to Mary, my one-time best friend.I needed to understand what happened and why. Why? Could I tell him why? Did I even know why? In the end I could not even tell him the "what."I lied to him once more.A dream, Eric, I said. I. That meant that the current or propeller wash could cause them to lose their anchoring. They then became a real hazard as a floating mine in the shipping channel.Hitting the side of a tanker in the channel carrying gasoline, jet fuel or Naphtha would be disastrous, closing the channel for a very long time.A national security meeting was the first thing on the schedule after breakfast and seeing my mates off. All of them were going back home to get things ready for our week at Deep Water Cay. They were going to pack for me.I had just put them on the helicopter for home and was sitting at my desk when the green phone started ringing.‘‘Good morning Prime Minister Attenborough. How are you today?’’ I answered.‘‘I am good. I wanted to know what your thoughts are on Iranian’s actions in the strait?’’ he asked.‘‘It is troublesome but not unexpected from them, given the gradual increase of tensions there. We certainly have the ability to destroy them but we would gain nothing as they would.
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