. don't blame me ... it's what sailors call it. Unless they call it foul weather gear.So she's minding the helm when we hit something."Errk," I said.The kids came running out on deck in their wet gear. "Daddy ... the keel hit something." I know that," I said. "What is another question entirely."What ever it was we were scraping it ... still.Finally ... it stopped.Wendy and the kids went below to check the bilges..."No leaks! The bilge pump hasn't run in days." Maybe it's plugged?"While we were contemplating that possibility, off the starboard side there was a racket of doors slamming and whooshes like fast moving air. There was running on metal decks and yelling in German. A huge diesel started running and there was the clunk of gears and propeller noises. What ever it was ... was mad. Then a searchlight flicked on and wobbled a bit. All too soon they had our sail illuminated and the light found the cabin and helm."Welches Land (What Country)?" came the hail."Finland!" I shouted. CRYS (artificially loud): I was just telling the audience about embarrassing DETAILS of your PERSONAL HYGIENE. GOOD THING YOU DIDN'TWAKE UP AND STOP ME. (Taps her foot for a moment. There is no reaction.)CRYS: She did rouse briefly in December, enough to promise an update, but I think she hit the 'snooze' button on her alarm clock again. (Loudly, to the lump in the blankets.) I hope I don't spill this bucket of COLD WATER.LUMP ON BED: *Snork* Sir Robert? That's not supposed to go in there! Ungle barkle firk. (begins snoring again)CRYS: (looking quite peeved) I guess it's time for the old 'ice cube'trick. Confidentially, I hate that almost as much as she does. Give me a second. (She stalks out of the room.)A moment passes in silence (except for the snores), then the lump onthe bed suddenly springs vertically into the air, giving a screechthat extends well into the ultrasonic. Bats and dogs in a one mileradius whimper and attempt to cover their ears.FORMER LUMP: CrysTAL! (She is rubbing.
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