" my best friend exclaimed as soon as I opened my door in response to her frantic knocking."Yikes! Juicy gossip? It must be good, you haven't been this excited since you found out that the Bartlet's boy is gay." God Martha, I just can't believe that I just saw what I did."We had moved to the living room. I sat on the edge of the sofa."For god's sake you look like you're going to burst, just spill it out." I said laughing at her excitement."OK, I went to the Pratt's tonight to get their dues. God they've got all this garish Mexican style furniture. Anyway, Sybil answered the door and I went in. They have this glass top dining room table. So we sat there and I spread out the association papers to show her and told her they could pay all at once or four times a year."This was dragging on. I interrupted, "So you saw that they have ugly furniture. Big deal."Now I have to explain. We live in a tract that has a homeowners association. The Pratt's had recently moved in across the street. Sue. As it turned out, the car's looks impressed the panties off girls, but it was too small to be any practical use after that. We were forced to improvise.]We gathered in the Guys' Room where I did the introductions, then explained to my teammates, "I've got a terrible problem: too many girls are chasing after me. This is when you all express your sympathy for me."After the sympathetic boos died down, I continued, "Some of the girls I like very much, the ones here being my special favorites. Many others I don't know well enough to have much opinion about, and the remainder are the girls that don't suit me. Most that I don't like I simply tell to stay away from me, but there's a subset of them that are VERY selfish, deceitful and beautiful. They're lying their asses off to get their grubby hands on my money, so I don't mind lying back to them. Even though they're beautiful, they don't have anything I want because I've got enough wonderful lovers already. But you guys don't have enough.
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