" Did it often?" What?" Casual sex." A bit." How much is a bit?" None of your business." That's a lot." I hated it, fucking and leaving, fucking and telling someone to leave, fucking and waking up with a stranger that I felt no connection to but for the sexual attraction the night before." But you still did it." Less and less. Until I practically stopped." Never had a girlfriend?" Of course I did. Why?" What was sex with her like?" It was better."I knew what she was going to ask. "What about me?" I feel really depressed. When I walk out through that door."She hugged me tighter."The first time we did it ... I arrived home feeling guilt, sick, disgusted with myself. I hated myself," Athena said. "I took a long bath, very long, because I could not clean myself. Then he arrived, behaving as he ever did. And through the next week, everything was the same. Nothing had changed. He arrived late as usual. He fucked me as usual, he noticed no difference. I wrote better than usual. You said that. I escaped to change the music, it seemed we were stuck on a spooky sounds track and people wanted to dance. As I was bent over fumbling for a CD to change someone spanked me! It was Grace- she had brought her hand down on my ass in a hard slap, shocked I straighten up just in time for her to give me a cheeky wink - hand me a drink and then return to her audience of admirers.After Halloween it became impossible to hang out with Grace without my mind going into overdrive, all I could think about was submitting to her. I had often become embarrassed when she caught me looking at her for longer than I should have, I couldn't help it. She seemed to have noticed my glances and would occasionally return them. Grace was a very flirtatious person so it was hard to tell if she just enjoyed my attention or reciprocated it. It was all a part of the torture leading up to today- I slowly but surely convinced myself to tell her.One evening she invited me over to her place for a talk about a work.
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