“I can’t imagine it ... but then I couldn’t imagine you either.” She let him kiss her gently, but pushed him back. “Can you be happy if some other man raises our child?”“If you’re happy, that’s what will make me happy,” he said.His face was calm, but inside was a different matter. Bobby had contact with all his children, some more and some less. He was completely comfortable with Jake being called Daddy by two of those children. He had already heard Steven call Sal “Papa Sal,” and that hadn’t hurt at all. There were others, many others, who called another man all the names that would bond them to a man other than their biological father, and he could live with that, because he got to see them and talk to them and know they were happy children.But this was different, somehow. To know he had a child that he’d probably never see, and never hold or play with. He’d not get the chance to read the child under his hand any stories, or play horsy, or babysit. It made his stomach hurt. An. We kissed each other repeatedly for several minutes before settling back on the couch. After we finished the third Santa Claus movie it was late afternoon. The sky had already darkened so I got up to turn on the light. ‘Turn on the Christmas lights,’ Jully suggested. I complied and plugged the lights on. The living room was lit by the tree and it provided decent visibility as well as ambience. Snow still fell outside and I was thinking Jully would have to leave soon to avoid much trouble from the snow slowing down buses. Not to mention walking to bus stops. Before I could say this, Jully spoke first. ‘Is that Chinese restaurant we passed on the way here open?’ she inquired. ‘Given that is not a Tuesday and it is after 4, yes,’ I replied. ‘Good.’ I handed Jully a menu and waited as she read it. The thoughts that had been going through my mind returned. Most important among them: why had she kissed me? She couldn’t possibly want to be in a relationship with me. And I surely couldn’t.
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