I felt better right away, and I didn't feel so cold or alone any more. This went on through the funeral, and the reception afterwards, and she never left my side.After everyone was gone, and we were alone, she would suddenly start to cry and moan. "What am I going to do? We're all alone... I miss Dad soooo much..." So, I tried to comfort her. I think I said something like: "Don't worry mom, I'll take care of you. I'll be here with you." She stopped crying and wiped off her cheeks, and smiled. She kissed me hard on the lips, and then stared at me. Then she started crying again. I just sat there, and before long she got up and went into her bedroom, to wash up for the night. She came out dressed in her robe, and we hugged, and I'm not sure, but I think she said "I'm afraid to be alone tonight, Tony. Will you stay with me tonight, in my room? I have such horrible thoughts when I'm alone, and I'm scared, it would help me so much..." So I told her to try to get some sleep, and I would. I ltook a Taxi from the house just before noon. The driver demanded payment up front before driving me to the chateau, which I thought rather odd and slightly rude. We reached the chateau at just after one. The driver dropped me just by an impressive arch gateway with ornate iron gates. The name was emblazoned over the arch. The main gates were shut but a smaller gate was open. A smartly uniformed guard lblocked my way and asked me something in Arabic. I didn't understand. I shook my head. He repeated the phrase and adds the word 'party' in English. I assume he is talking about the meeting... which confims my suspicions that its is not a regular meeting, but some sort of party. I nod this time and he lets me through. It confirms my suspicions. Doesn’t the guard know that it's only for members or maybe Juan lied and women guests are allowed. But why wouldn’t he tell me? Is he ashamed of me, Is he having an affair? He takes me to all sorts of parties... why is this different?! I.
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