But whenever you two step into the sun,it terrifies me. It terrifies me because I feel like I won't be able tocompete. Like I'm going to get left behind. Like as soon as you come tobear, I'm not going to matter. And, god help me, that makes me want tofight: to kick and to scream and to push you away so I don't get shoveddown hill. But please, understand that hurting you is the last thing Iwant to do!" Oh my god, Miki. What the shit are you saying?" Min opened the door, Itumbled inside."I spoke to Mia." Who?" Mia Michaleson."'"The washed-up Idol? Wait," Min shook her head. "How do you know MiaMichaleson?" That's not important." I rose to my feet and took Mins hands into mine.Meiling was on the bed, her arms wrapped around a tear-soaked pillow."What is important is what she told me. Because, see, she has a wholelifetime of jealousy and bitterness behind her. She let it drive her,let it feed her behavior, and look at where she ended up. She pushedaway everybody she could have ever. Over the years my relationship with Steve has become tense at best. He always avoids being near me. I’ll walk into a room where his is alone, and he’ll soon find a reason to leave. I stand near him, he finds a reason to create more space. I think he can sense my desire for him, and is afraid he won’t be able to resist. I know he’s right. And I plan to prove it. Steve and Tami live with their two kids, Scott and Laura, in Southern California. I live in Phoenix, which isn’t too far to drive to visit them when I have a reason. And this time my reason for visiting was to fuck Steve. Of course, I couldn’t tell them that. So I told them I wanted to visit on July 4 th , and join them and my niece and nephew in watching the fireworks display at the local park. I arrived at my sister’s place late Friday night. Scott and Laura, who were aged 4 and 2, had long since been put to bed. Steve was watching tv when I arrived, and I sat next to him on the couch. It was obvious to me he was.
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