.. I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.As usual, his model. Several people hadtold Jeff that he had to meet me. It was even before thegirls had the idea for the Halloween party. We weresupposed to go on a blind date the next week."Jeff's little brother was throwing the party. The girlsjust made sure that we met early in the night."Mother looked shocked, "You mean your girlfriends weresetting you up to meet a strange man while you looked likea woman?" Precisely, Jeff wanted a man; but needed a visible woman.I wanted and needed a new man in my life." I think I am getting too much information. Please do nottell me what you two do behind closed doors." That is exactly what happened. They were and still are mygirlfriends. We had sex once or twice just to see what itwas like. I was bored." You mean there is hope that you will change?" No, I tried girls and ran back to guys. That part will never change," I glanced around the room and saw Jeff'sparent seated in the middle, "Mom, would you like to meetJeff's folks?"Jeff is such a dear. He called his.
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