" How is Miriam?" She's much calmer now that that scumbag of a brother has buggered off. At the moment she's down in Guildford for a week, sorting out some trouble at the local supermarket. That girl is a diamond, but I wish she'd spend as much time on sorting out her marriage." I heard my mother give a sniff of disapproval before continuing. "I know that she's really sorry she smashed your mug. I don't fink she done it on purpose." Yeah, I realise she just picked up of the nearest thing at hand to chuck at me. Tell her not to worry ... it's only a mug, and I will probably get another." It's your marriage you want to get fixed, not some bloody silly mug."My mother must be really upset about the state of Miriam and my marriage to call the Hammer's Cup Winning commemorative mug 'bloody silly'."I 'ope you're going to keep in touch wiv 'er; sending 'er post cards an' that, when you're in America." Of course I will – and it's Canada I'm going to." Same difference – anyway they talk the. I must fully cooperate with my discipline. Because I own my discipline and Daddy decides, I must be completely obedient and do everything I am required to facilitate the process.Discipline always ends in acceptance. Discipline cannot end until I completely accept my discipline, because it is for my own good and I must own it.The first time he did this, the rules were just printed from the computer. But every time after that, he has given me the last copy that I wrote out. He keeps them all - hundreds by now. Most of the time the handwriting is my usual pretty cursive, but I always notice when the writing is just a little more shaky. Usually, I also remember why - that I knew while I was copying that I was going to get a particularly well deserved punishment.Writing out a new copy of the rules is never a mechanical operation for me. I can't help but read them while I write, and reading them brings each one into sharp focus, and the writing can only go so fast, so each one is present in.
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