He bought the old Victorian house a little more than a month ago. The house hadn’t been lived in for nearly two years and was in dire need of repair. He had caught my attention when I first saw him with the realtor. He was strikingly handsome and seemed charismatic in the way he carried himself when dealing with the real estate agent, who was a woman seemingly more into him than she was in selling the house.I could see the flickering shadows of a person moving about behind the curtains, but now that they were closed, I could not see inside. I moved closer until my face was nearly against the window screen. Suddenly the whooshing and whimpers stopped.The storm came on quickly. I could feel the sprinkles on my back, and I decided it would be wise to return to my house before the clouds opened up. The clock read 3:10 when I returned to bed. But I couldn’t sleep a wink. I fantasized about what it would be like to be dominated by a man like my new neighbor, and I didn’t even know his. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off this building.”The Mexican opened his lunch box again and exclaimed “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump too.”The blond guy opened his lunch and said “Bologna again! If I get one more bologna sandwich one more time I’m also going to jump.”The next day the Irishman opened his lunch, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and leaped off the scaffold. The blond guy opened his lunch, saw bologna again and leaped to his death also.At the funeral the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again.”The Mexican’s wife also wept and said “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burrito’s so much.”Everyone turned and looked at the blond guy’s wife and she said “Don’t look at me. He packed his own.
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