“Why don’t you pick one out?” Natasha’s bag had separate compartments fastened by riveted buttons, she unbuttoned the section with purple polishes and handed it to Allison so that she could find one that she liked.Eventually, Allison warmed up to Natasha, and Natasha began talking to Allison like a friend. Allison had only ever received one manicure in her life, and it did not even begin to compare with the one that Natasha, who must have been a professional, was giving her. They moved on to makeup and Natasha gave her tips on the best products and the order to do things. “I can color your hair too you know” Natasha offered “not today, but in the future, you should think about it.”Allison looked in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize herself. Before today eye liner and eye shadow, foundation, blush; these were all words she heard and she knew what a few were, but not like this. Her eyes popped, her lips looked seductive, her hair styled, her nails a metallic purple. She felt. This man knew of such things, he had experienced all the doubts of youth and would understand, would listen without judgment. ‘No, you will feel no pain at my touch and when it is finished then…’ he paused: how to tell this girl of such things, things that he himself could not conceive of despite years of trying? How to communicate a meaning that renders all words inadequate? In the back of his mind he heard the familiar whispering of shadows: ‘a meaning that might be meaningless.’ The voice was as soft like the rustle of dry leaves rubbing their corpses against one another, seeking to regain the warmth they used to possess, and as penetrating as the dread harmony of thunder that lashed out from the sky and engulfed all of nature in its shuddering roar. He knew in his bones that uncertainty was impossible, but the shadows filled his mind with impossibilities. He forced his mind from the darkness and the division it had created. She must not see his wound: if she did, if she looked.
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