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Ron smiled as he saw the lanky, sandy-haired lad approach; he knew this encounter would likely prove very interesting. He was convinced the approaching youngster - in the same manner the waitress had paid no heed to Sara earlier - had yet to realize Ron was sitting with the object of his full attention. For all intents and purposes, he hadn't taken his eyes off Sara since he'd first laid eyes on the pretty girl he assumed Sara was enter the bar."Hello," said the man to Sara, while, not surprisingly, ignoring Ron."My name's Tom. Tom Peters." So what do you want me to do about it?" replied Sara, as he casually looked up at Tom before taking another sip of his beer. "You want a medal or something?"Tom was puzzled by the girl's uninterested response. She was very obviously going to be a challenge; Tom had always loved a good challenge, particularly those who were so young and attractive. He was confident he'd quickly win her over; he'd long ago lost track of the number of cold hearts. ”Tiffany put Marcus on speaker phone so Laura and Shelly could hear.“Ok. Hi girls, I’m Marcus and I was telling Tiffany about the time of my near divorce in 1984. My wife asked me in bed if there was something special I would like. I told her I wanted her to release an air biscuit. No hesitation. She let out a tiny squeeker on cue, right in my face. The next day she unloaded a whopper that damn near singed the carpet. Sounded like she killed a huge duck. It was total romance. She never topped that one. I would get the best results with her sticking my tongue up into her bung pie as far as I could and massage her rump while tossing her salad. Sometimes it would happen right away but sometimes it could take 20 minutes before it would come poot pooting out. The romance saved my marriage. You do the math. I figure that 3 farts per week over a year works out to about 156 farts. So in 20 years, I've inhaled over 3100 farts.”Marcus cleared his throat and continued. “I also love to fart! I.
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