. well... I'd fantasized about it, but I never got that far.People didn't want to read my books. When I worked on getting published, those old-fashioned folks behind their big oak desks all said the same thing: you're too dry. You're too scientific. Worse yet... "can't you be a little more sexy?" That's the one that aggravated me the most. I wanted to keep my integrity. Being an author is a cruel business; it's not something that lets you squeak by on "good enough." If you can't move copies of your work-- or draw eyes, if we're talking about the latest forms of digital media-- you're forced out.After losing my legs in the industry, I tried refocusing myself, but for a newbie with no experience who's been turned down that many times, there's no good writing jobs, even in news or non-fiction writing. My dream job had gone down the toilet, not because I was lazy or unmotivated, but because I wouldn't align my views with what the world wanted. That's how I saw it, anyway."Aaaah... That's. "Be careful," he said. "If you don't eat your meat, your meat might decide to eat you. Or," he leaned in close to whisper, "maybe your meat'll decide it's time to stop playing games and finally just fuck your stupid cunt." He pulled away smiling big, as Allie's eyes shot open wide and terrified.Before she'd even taken a breath, Paul was on his feet. "I'd like to propose a toast," he said. The others turned to look, glasses raised as he continued. "To good friends, good food, and a wonderful evening ahead!"The other adults raised a chorus of cheers, as Allie felt a knot tightening in her stomach. Paul meant it, she realized. He was going to fuck her ... to rape her. She knew she should say something, to find a way to not get trapped on the porch with him and his telescope.Of course, she thought, they probably wouldn't do anything if she did say something. And she wasn't totally sure he'd really do it. She told herself to relax and not overreact. Paul was just a pervy old man, he.
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