Einen Fuß über das Geländer hebend steigt inmir ein beklemmendes Gefühl auf. Angst. Wovor hatte ich Angst. Angst zusterben? Angst vor dem Tot? Angst etwas zu verpassen. Ja ich war noch nicht am Ende. Es war noch Hoffnung in mir. Eskönnten noch bessere Tage auf mich warten. Nur den Zeigern auf der Uhrzu zusehen wird nicht reichen. Ich musste was tun. Es gab noch mehr Männer. Die nächsten Wochen standen unter einem ganz bestimmten Motto. Wenn direin Ritter gefällt, hole ihn dir selbst vom Pferd. Und wie macht Fraudas? Mit den uns gegebenen Waffen. Kurzer Rock, bauchnabelfreie Bluse, highHeels. Ich tingelte durch alle mir bekanten und unbekannten Kneipen, Discosund Bars. Kein Mann war vor mir sicher. Der Alkohol tat sein übriges.Und so erschrak ich manches morgens, neben wessen Gesicht ich aufwachte. Besonderszogen mich die Männer an, die irgendwie mit Gerd Ähnlichkeit hatten.Groß, schlank, sportlich, gut gekleidet, BMW fahrend, gebildet, mit einemVerwaltungsberuf. Männer, die die Muse. She did not. Day after day he waited for her in the garden and she did not return. He did not understand why she was ignoring him. He thought of trying to pass her a note but he did not trust any of the other slaves. He tried to think of some reason he could enter the house but he was the gardener. He stayed outside the hall day and night after his duties were completed, hoping to catch a glimpse of her and find out why she had not returned to him. Every day he grew sadder and more despondent. He became lax in his duties, he knew, but all he could think about was Avalon. Every time he turned around, he hoped to see her. Every time he breathed, he hoped to smell her scent. Every time he looked into the sky, he saw her eyes. He could not help the way he felt about her. He did not think it was wrong. She was only a half sister. That was not a large enough obstacle to keep Gregor from what he wanted. So he continued to moon and pine for her, wondering why she was ignoring him. On the.
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