At the time it seemed like such a relief to not have to perform a hetero role because I had a lot of deeply buried feelings that I had to deal with. Having a break from social expectations of heterosexuality helped me to redefine myself. Some people have a hard time wrapping their brains around the idea of a changeable gender because they see a natural definition of gender roles that seems rather inherent. However, I am not one who sees gender as either/or. I think that we all have a different combination of both male and female characteristics. Some people lean more to one or the other end of the spectrum but just because they perceive themselves that way does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing the other side of the spectrum. Now it seems like my feelings are coming full circle. Don’t ask me what that means exactly, because I don’t really know. I’m still not interested in men the way I used to be, but I dont’ feel the same anger. I can appreciate men who have admirable. "No, I should apologize. We almost got off on the wrong foot here and it's mostly my fault. Tell me something. Why do you have Mr. Muscle on your staff?" Who? Bert? He's invaluable. Some of our students are not very mobile. He helps them get to and from their wheelchairs. That sort of thing. He even bathes some of them. He can be a little over-protective at times. He knows how upsetting strangers can be for the students."The next few minutes were a tad awkward as we waited for the unfairly-maligned Bert to appear. I wondered if I should apologize. Then I remembered him staring at my boobs and figured that we were even.The sharp rap on the door was a great relief. Jeff himself opened it and I was so happy to see him that I kind of lost control. I mean to jump up to greet him, but it turned into more of a leap.Jeff barely had time to call my name before I slammed into him and knocked him back into Bert. After that, it was me and Jeff wrapped around each other, rolling across Bargrave's.
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