If you've ever seen a dirty old man hanging around Washington Square Park trying to lure NYU freshmen into his van with locally-sourced organic cookies, that's me. The new persona and the van have really cut down on the number of girls who will talk to me, but they've greatly improved the quality. After a semester of being Tomov, I have all the stories I need that start with, "So, I went to this party and got really drunk and..." As entertaining as those stories are, they represent a limited subset of human sexual experience. Young women who have the audacity to follow an older man in a Brooks Brothers suit into a van and a lifetime of good advice be damned generally have the best stories and don't need to be drunk to acquire them.In the van is a kitchenette where I provide the aforementioned cookies, a hot beverage, and occasionally other substances on request. Once I've fulfilled my duties as a host, I eventually explain that I'm an author and ask them if they have any good stories. “Thank you, Leliana.”She tilted her head back and accepted a chaste kiss. “If you wait here, I can bring you some hot water to wash, yes?” She stepped away from him and pointed at a bucket he hadn’t noticed. “That won’t be warm anymore.”He reached out and touched her arm gently. “I think I’ll survive. I’m not sure I can say the same about these clothes, but I don’t have anything else to change into.”She smiled and picked up a bundle from the top of her bedroll. “I have that covered.” She handed him the bundle and went to step out. “There’s a towel and washcloth there as well. I’ll wait outside.”He took the clothes she handed him but stopped her before she could leave. “That’s not necessary. I’ll just ... I mean, if you could just ... turn your back?”She nodded and returned to sit on her bedroll, facing the tent flap. He stripped quickly, washing himself hurriedly as he tried not to curse at the cold water. He briefly regretted not allowing her to bring warm water – but looking at her.
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