W.T.F. I said no way in hell would I buy condoms when I abstained for over two months and now she was willing to use them for her big cocked lover.She pleaded and I stood firm. She then asked me if I would mind if she bought them, I chuckled to myself at the thought of my petite, shy, wife asking the pharmacist for a box of condoms. I told her "sure, if you want to buy them, go right ahead."The week went by and no other word was said about the weekend until the Friday that we were scheduled to leave for Jack's. I came home from work and Fran met me at the door and told me that the k**s were at her mothers and our things were packed and we were ready to go. I asked her about the "protection." She pulled a box of XXL condoms out of here purse. I didn't even know that they had XXL condoms, not that I would ever have had any use for them!She stated that she had bought them the day before and the pharmacist (a female) had asked her what size. Fran asked her what she meant and the. 'I'm not a boy anymore, I'm a girl.Maybe that is why I'm crying so easily.'I didn't get more time to think or to feel miserable though. Suddenly abird popped up on the same branch I was sitting and it started pecking inmy direction. 'Oh no, do I look like food to birds as well? I need to getout of here and find someplace to hide!'I dropped from the branch and flew away from the tree, straight into therain. The bird was following me closely and I had to weave and turn likecrazy to avoid ending up in its beak and stomach. The falling raindropsmade it even worse as I got hit by several of them, hampering my flightcapability. The bird didn't seem to suffer as much inconvenience as mefrom the rain, so I was starting to panic. I started thinking, 'Is thisit? Am I going to end as bird shit? Oh, what am I going to do?'Then I saw a hole in a fence separating two gardens. I quickly made my wayover there, still weaving and bobbing all the time. I dove through thesmall hole, only just clearing.
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