Slowly butdeliberately, I began to search for the woman in me, and to appeal to herto come to my aid, making use of all of the kabbalistic tools which Ihadmastered. Equally slowly, Hannah emerged. At first she was but a voice,whispering suggestions as to how to take care of the baby, how to feed it and how to sew dresses for it. Later, she became a presence, onewhich I could feel, not apart from me but as another aspect of myself. Asthe weeks passed, this aspect took control of me more and more, until Ifelt that it was I who was but a minor aspect of her.Finally, I realized that Hannah was ready to take over my body and mylife completely. I packed up my late wife's clothing, and all of thebaby's things, and, without saying goodbye to anyone, took the coach toJaffa. There I rented a room from a Turk. I shaved my hair, my beard, andmy ear locks. Later I would pull out the hairs of my face one by one bythe roots, so they would not grow back. I threw away my male clothes anddonned. Soonafter I felt his lips on my neck, kissing, sucking, nibbling. His handsmoved across my front, feeling my body. I sighed as his fingers felt mypeeks, and played with my small nipples and the small barbells that piercedthem. Though his mouth stayed in place, his hands traveled down my abs,feeling as they went. Soon his fingers pushed the waist of my briefs down,and they fell to the floor. I was naked as the day I was born, out on abalcony above a city of millions. Coach's foot flashed out quickly, and kicked my briefs off the balcony. "Oops" he said, smiling at me evilly.I had no clothing left outside of my room, 10 floors below. He saw myscowl and said "What are you gonna do? I have you by the balls. Or shouldI say the ass?" With that he clenched my ass checks, gripping them likefirm ripe fruit. "Stay" he said, and walked back into the suite, closingthe balcony doors behind him. I stood out on the balcony completely naked,relieved that it was pretty dark out. I.
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