There was even an island out in the Mersey where there had been a poison gas manufacturing plant during the First World War – I was jolly glad that I hadn’t been around in those days. It was most interesting, but I didn’t take to the place. On Teesside we made fertilisers to help crops grow; here at Runcorn they made effective pesticides to protect those crops, but it didn’t seem quite as positive. Some of these chemical compounds were pretty persistent; there had been several cases of pesticide spills into rivers killing huge numbers of fish, and my gut instinct told me that this was a bad thing.Dad and I did indeed spend the first weekend in April digging. After an eight o’clock start, we finished Grandad’s vegetable patch early on Saturday afternoon, so went on and turned over Grandpa Shaw’s old beds until dark. We took Grandma home for supper, and both had a shower while she was chatting to Mum in the kitchen. On Sunday we finished her garden, left her leafing through old seed. She wants me to change. Ha!(Audience begins to boo again)Dad: I'm happy just the way I am.Host: Well, she's decided that she's had enough of your shenanigans and wants you to become a new person. Are you willing to try?(Dad grumbles)Monica: Come on Daddy. Please.Dad: Well... all right. For her, I'll give it a try.(Audience erupts into applause. Host walks up to stage and shakes hands with Dad. A large man, dressed in a lab coat, walks over to Dad and escorts him off stage)Host: Let's check out how Dad is doing through our hidden cameras.(Camera opens up as Dad and the large man walks into a small room. In the room is an operating table. Two nurses are on either side)Man: All right sir. Please remove your clothes and hop up on the table.(Dad turns his back to the camera and removes his clothes, then gets on the table. The two nurses, of course dressed provocatively, showing lots of cleavage, strap him down. The audience howls as the nurses bend over, giving everyone a good view)Man:.
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