I told her I would not harass her with multiple e-mails, as I understood how busy and stressful her work must be. The next day I received another e-mail. She went to great lengths to describe her thoughts and a conversation she had with her father. Her father was aghast that she had traveled to the home of an unknown man. She had told her father of her Craig’s List ad and that I had responded, and she was merely following up on it. She told her dad that I seemed like a very nice and safe gentleman, and that after getting to know me better, she might want to break her eight years of celibacy and experience all the sexual pleasures that she had been denied during her two previous marriages. Her dad told her that a seventy-four year old man would probably have a massive heart attack during heavy strenuous sex with her. She then asked me if I would talk dirty to her during sex? Would I use other words for vagina and penis? Would I mind letting her suck me? She said she always wanted to. It described me; every single thing about me that my parents might be unable to accept was listed in this document. I set up an email to send itself with the document attached in a few days in the event that I was unable to come back. The email would send itself to Patrick, my best friend since the second grade, a few family members, and a few friends I had never been able to tell. I hoped to be able to come back to this email and tell it not to send; I wanted to tell the world in a more personal manner, preferably face to face. I got up from my chair and packed a bag full of clothing. I prepared my laptop for quick removal if it became necessary. I desperately hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. I was shaking pretty badly; I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I stuck my bag by my door and walked down the hall towards my brothers’ rooms. I looked in at Trevor, sleeping peacefully. I loved both of my siblings, but I had watched Trevor grow up; I felt a special protective bond.
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