I went upstairs and opened and shut my bedroom door but knelt at the top of the staircase peeking down into the den. Ben invited her into the kitchen and emerged about 10 minutes later holding her hand and guiding her upstairs. I ran into my bedroom and sat patiently waiting for his text to join them. Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. I was almost ready to bust in when I heard his door slam and a few seconds later, the front door closed. I peeked out the front window to see Kristen walking on the sidewalk in the direction of her house and immediately got that sick feeling in my gut. It had gone wrong. I ran into Ben’s bedroom to find him lying naked on his back with his boxers around his ankles, furiously stroking his thick, fully erect cock.“What happened?!”“Ah. Fuck her.”“Tell me what happened!”“Nothing. She’s fine.”“So why’d she leave?”“Sigh. Cus she’s all talk. Fucking little bitch. Downstairs she was all for it so we came up and started kissing and she started. Environmentalism 2: Good shit only happens once; bad shit is recycled.Environmentalism 3: Humanity happens.Epicurism: Shit happens after a good meal.Episcopalian-ism 1: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.Episcopalian-ism 2: If shit happens, hold a procession with bells and smells (incense).Epicurian-ism: Shit happens, in moderation.Epistemology: How do you know that shit?Escapism: If shit happens, don’t look back.Eschatology: You think shit happens now, you just wait.EST-ism: If my shit bothers you, that’s your fault.Evangelism: Shit Happens (Pass it on).Evolutionism: The world is getting shittier all the time.Existentialism 1: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.Existentialism 2: What is shit anyway?Existentialism 3: There is nothing except shit happening.Existentialism 4: Shit happening is absurd.Existentialism 5: I shit, therefore I sit.Expressionism: Excrement comes and goes.Family gathering: Relatives are shit.Fascism 1: Shit won’t happen if we.
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