Was I Christian, gay or acrossdresser or all three?I would drink beer with the rugby crowd and talk about how a woman'splace was in the bedroom or in the kitchen, like Dad, but I didn't reallybelieve it. So whenever I felt someone thought I was a fake I would add"Hey guys, you are basically right but I feel women could do other thingslike for example acting, nursing or modelling." This seemed to put themoff asking me if I was gay or not or taking it even furtherance asking ifI was a crossdresser.Despite this the lads I was hanging around with still thought me a bitodd because, whilst I had been outwardly accepted as one of the lads, Istill had the same effeminate mannerisms that had worried my Dad. Iwould have loved to be fully accepted but those mannerisms were part ofme and I could no more eliminate them than how I walked and talked. Infact did the mannerisms include how I walked and talked?The lads were a "warrior" crowd with no real idea how to behave aroundwomen who were. It seemed as though her knees would buckle and she'd fall to the pavement, trembling. His eyes burned into her flesh - she could feel them rove over her body from her head down to her feet. Her breath had already quickened and she was certain he could hear her heart pound over the hiss of the surf.It was an eternity that she was held this way - so long that she felt she would burst if she didn't turn and confront him. Just before that point, she heard him move closer.The unexpected pressure and warmth of strong hands on her hips made her gasp."Ssh," his voice soothed her, but the trembling did not subside. Strange how the very same voice could cause such anxiety and such peace at the same time.He pressed her against his body and through the thin fabric of the dress, she felt how strong and solid he was, warm and safe. She sighed as her body relaxed against him.His hands moved to her arms. The fine blonde hairs stood up as more chills spread over her. It was as if each individual hair.
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